An End and a Beginning

I took part in Susannah's The August Break project last month on my other blog, which I have temporarily taken down for the time being for personal reasons. However, I wanted to start this new blog with my last post. It's a little introduction to me and where I am at this point in my life and my creative path...

The End

Through The August Break project, I discovered Susannah Conway's this i know: notes on unraveling the heart. I devoured the pages in 2 days, finding hope and strength in Susannah's story. Although I have yet to experience that depth of loss in my lifetime, I have had my fair share of tough times. Pain. Disappointment. Failure. Fear. I thank her for sharing her story, and allowing others to find rays of hope even in the most trying circumstances.

For obvious reasons, the title of today's song pick fits with the final day of the project. But some of the lyrics struck a particularly raw nerve. 

Help me see myself

'Cause I can no longer tell

Ugh. I suppose it's time for the dreaded self-portrait...

What do I see? 

Sadness. 

Stress. 

Worry. 

Exhaustion. 

I see someone who longs for more out of life. Longs for inspiration and purpose. Someone whose face is etched with life's struggles and pain. 

If anything, this journey brought me back to the present. Back to what is important. Back to being more aware of my surroundings. Back in touch with my creative side. And finally, and perhaps most importantly, back to reality.

Thank you to Susannah, and all the folks who participated in this project over the course of the last 31 days. Sharing your photos and stories has been both powerful and empowering. 

The End.

(lyrics)

What were all those dreams we shared
Those many years ago?
What were all those plans we made
Now left beside the road?
Behind us in the road

More than friends I always pledged
Cause friends they come and go
People change as does everything
I wanted to grow old
Just want to grow old

Slide on next to me
I'm just a human being
I will take the blame
But just the same
This is not me
You see
Believe
I'm better than this

Don't leave me so cold
Or buried beneath the stones
I just want to hold on
And know I'm worth your love
Enough
I don't think
There's such a thing

It's my fault, Now I been caught
A sickness in my bones
How it pains to leave you here
With the kids on your own
Just don't let me go

Help me see myself
Cause I can no longer tell
Looking out from the inside of
The bottom of a well
It's hell
I yell
But no one hears

Before I disappear
Whisper in my ear
Give me something to echo
In my unknown futures ear

My dear
The End
Comes near
I'm here
But not much longer

Released: September 20, 2009
ARTIST: Pearl Jam