I've come to realize that I am a damn good cheerleader. Not so much for myself, but for others.
If only I would heed my own advice once in a while. Or just once, for that matter. Maybe then I wouldn't be, feel, think, act so erratic.
Dishing out advice or positive motivation to others? Oh yeah, no problem.
Acting on that advice and internalizing it for my own self? Not so much.
Why is that?
Why am I able to provide thoughtful, meaningful and actionable feedback to others, but when it comes to myself, all I do is ruminate on the negative. I'm paralyzed by my own self doubt.
I can't do this.
I can't do that.
I'm not good enough for this.
I'm not talented enough for that.
She does it better.
He says it so much more eloquently.
If only I could do it this way.
Why didn't I think to do it that way.
Negative. Negative. Negative.
The radio interference is deafening. And these poisonous thoughts and feelings are draining every ounce of my being.
Maybe it's time for someone to just tell me for a change. Someone to take me under their wing and show me my worth. Tell me it's okay. Kick me in the ass and tell me to stop whining. Teach me how to find that place, hidden way below the scarred surface, that can motivate and support my own damn self for a change. Maybe I need someone to enlighten me on how to truly focus inward.
Practicing self-kindness is so hard for me. I really don't understand it. For the life of me, I don't understand why I find it so hard to have an ounce of compassion for myself.
If not me, then who?
2 comments:
This is hard. So hard when we are assailed with doubt. How do we know that we are good at the thing we THINK we are good at? What if we are really rubbish and no one wants to tell us? Who are we to put ourselves forward, that is for others.
The thing is, as I try to work through this myself and yearn to have someone to tell me I can, am able, have skills, I come more and more to think it HAS to come from me. When it comes from someone else it is lovely and I bloom, but only for a while, then the doubts return, somehow I have got to get to this point myself.
You will see it, the positive comments will help but just getting it out there that you have these feelings will open a pathway within you where healing and self belief can begin to work.
Good wishes and blessings to you.
Lynn
You are beautiful and value and worth just because you are you - uniquely made in the image of God. This is who you ARE - what you do (and from what I've read and the pictures I've seen) you do beautifully. But Lynn is right - you must believe it yourself. What would it take for you to be able to believe good things about yourself? How would that make a difference in your life?
Praying that you will soon see for yourself just how beautiful, lovely and talented you are and then believe it.
Blessings,
Terry
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