Thoughts she can't help thinkin'

I started most of this post as an "About this Blog" sidebar, but then it got completely out of hand. Yet as I read through it (edited, deleted, edited some more and then deleted more), it dawned on me that this was probably a good start to introducing myself to you, my reader(s). Ha, ha...yes, I know plural is wishful thinking at this point. 

Maybe this is a more of a stream of consciousness post than an exploration on how to find my voice. Nevertheless, it lets you in on a little bit more about me and what makes me tick (as in *tick* like a time bomb).

Well, a little...

Although I've been blogging on and off for a couple of years now, I decided to create a whole new space especially for Susannah's Blogging from the Heart course.

A fresh start, so to speak.

It's hard to say exactly what this blog will be about, since it is still in it's infancy. I can assure you it will consistently involve musings about travel and music; amateur photography as a result of my new-found iPhone and Instagram addiction; chronicles of my obsession with thrift stores and flea markets; and perhaps even some occasional dabbles into fictional writing.

On days when I'm feeling particularly brave, I shall delve into my struggles with chronic pain and anxiety; my irrational need for acceptance; my debilitating (and loooong laundry list of) fears; my frequent neurotic behavior; and probably some seriously off-the-wall content resulting from bouts of insomnia. 

Someday I will go into my dysfunctional family and personal relationships; and my complete inability to cope with everything life decides to fling at me all at once. How I ultimately have only myself to blame, by trying to maintain the outwardly "perfect" persona, when inside I am a complete mess.

I'll bitch about my job, and how much I long for a complete life change. I'll share my unhappiness about entering my (*eek*) 40's, and explore a multitude of ways to finally "find my path" at this critical transitional life-stage...whatever that path may end up being.

I'll frequently use cuss words (like I did above and here), even though Susannah warns against this practice. Sorry, it's who I am. "It's my voice!" But I promise to try to keep the f-bombs at a minimum.

I'll ramble at times. 

I'll struggle to hit publish often. 

I'll delete posts when I experience "morning after" regrets. Or fear that I exposed too much. Or offended someone. Or get a negative comment.

I assure you I'll have typos and awful grammar. I love to use "And", "But" & "Or" to start sentences, and I parenthesize things way too often.

I'll do my best to resist the inevitable urge to withdraw back into myself when it all becomes too much, or there is any semblance of a *virtual* relationship that evolves as a result of this blog. 

I'll test my boundaries and keep my heart open, no matter how hard that may end up being.

Above all, I will always find a way to poke fun at myself through sarcasm and loads of self-deprication (my best defense mechanism). All in the name of humor and amusement - for both you and me...oh, and in hopes of finding my place, my voice, my way through this vast blogosphere.

Sounds like loads of fun, eh? Stick with me. I'm a work in progress.

So, there's a little taste of what you are in for on this blog. Somehow it morphed into a long, rambling mission statement of sorts. But, not really - it was more of a promise of a complete cyber-dump of the hodge-podge of the mess that is me...Words Once Spoken (Can't Be Taken Back).