Feel the sky blanket you

If ever there was a time in my life when I needed to believe in a Higher Power, it would be now. At a time when I struggle with so many demons, questions, doubts; feeling lost, powerless, hopeless. 

It would be nice to have a little faith to fall back upon at a time like this. 

But I don't. Have faith, that is.

Somehow I lost it somewhere along the way. And I so desperately need to recapture it. So desperately WANT to recapture it. Grab a hold of it and never let it go again.

Tonight the Orionid meteor shower, the result of dust from Halley's Comet hitting Earth's atmosphere as the planet travels through space in its orbit around the sun, is scheduled to be visible from about 11:00 pm pacific time. This is the kind of stuff I read about a long time ago. Many moons ago when I was just an innocent, living a carefree life without heavy problems or the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I have one hour to go. I am determined to make it. I'm beat tired and running on empty. But damned if I am going to miss it. My first meteor shower. My chance to witness a true wonder.

Maybe I am foolish to believe that such an event will have some profound, life-altering impact. Maybe I am grasping at straws. Maybe I want something to believe in so badly that this is just a last ditch effort. A pathetic attempt.

Maybe. But what if?

What if witnessing something extraordinary at a time when it is most needed really does shift my thinking? Watching something powerful and moving, and altogether ethereal can do that, you know. What if it brings with it some glimpse of a Greater Power? And along with that, a renewed sense of awe for Mother Nature. 

Certainty. Assurance. Peace. But I'll settle for just a spark of hope at this point.

What if...

Wouldn't that be fucking great?